Facing adversity for more Happiness in Life.
One of the most common questions I get is how I have been able to stay so positive through so much adversity in my life.
Well if we're being honest - when I was first asked this question I probably looked like a deer in headlights. Because truthfully I had no clue.
Ever since a young age I had to be resourceful, take care of myself, and figure things out. This only strengthened over the years, and as a result when tough times came up...I would instinctively go into survival mode and fight my way through.
Actually I wasn't even aware it was abnormal to go through so many tough times until recently.
Part of my defense mechanism, which I now view as a gift, is perspective.
Whenever something tough or unfair happens it really helps to navigate through this by thinking about all the people in the world who are facing much worse situations.
It wasn't until the dust settled a little these last few years that I was able to see more clearly. That I was able to reflect back on all I had been through, how crazy it was that I had not fallen into full on depression.... and I was able to see that there were some fundamental tools I relied on to get me through the toughest times in my life.
I won't jump into all the nitty gritty of my story here because if you are facing tough times now, I want to give you some guidance to get through.
I will touch on it all briefly however because I have found that in sharing pieces of our story we are able to connect more. To feel less alone.
And I want you to know that whatever you are going through now - you are not alone!
It all started for me at a very young age. I grew up in an abusive home surrounded by drugs, violence, & abuse. Truthfully I spent most of my childhood years alone, embarrassed, and feared for my life on many occasions. The drama with my mother and her terrible taste in men followed me through college. Then in a span of just a few years I faced melanoma twice, lost my mother, my grandmother who was my everything, was betrayed by the person I thought was my person.. the first person I opened my heart to, relocated my life, went through a layoff, faced cancer again... and I could go on. This is clearly the cliff notes version, but let's just say I have known adversity much more than I have known love in my life.
But...I was able to persevere through it all. How?
Well I already touched on perspective. This grounds you and definitely fuels you through. But also somewhere along the way I developed the believe that our darkest times can lead to some of our brightest. That is if we can lean into our adversity, try to find the lessons, choose to seek out positive action... then we can rise to higher levels in life. Is it messy along the way - HELL YES! But it's also wildly transformative.
Lessons for Transformation:
My mother passing opened my eyes to how precious time is & I started to live more purposefully
The 1st Melanoma opened my eyes to how little self confidence I had and so self love became a priority. It also introduced me to a whole new world of hobbies I never would have found without the diagnosis.
My grandmother passed and I realized I wanted to do something worthwhile in life. I wanted to make an impact somehow. And so my business was born.
I could go on and on but I want to challenge you to look at the tough times in your life. You have gotten through them before - and you will again! I also want you to look for the lessons. How did you GROW through the experiences? And what were the positives on the other end? They were definitely there! Have hope and lean into your adversity.
And if you are looking for more guidance on how to keep your head up, maintain your fight, reconnect, and stay positive through it all here is a free 6 day course for you. In it I share the 6 habits that have become the fundamental pillars for persevering in life. These are integral parts of my life now and I truthfully believe have been the secret weapons guiding me through the darkest of times.