Sometimes success isn’t enough. Even after years of striving to overcome or accomplish everything you always thought you wanted in life, there can still be a void.
A feeling that you have to do or be more. That you are still meant for more.
But when will more be enough?
The patterns in life
We all have patterns in life, ways of working that repeat over and over again. These patterns shape the direction of our life without us even realizing it. And we will continuously approach life based on the beliefs that are tied to these patterns until we learn the lesson.
“According to ancient Asian philosophy, life is not a circle but a spiral. Every life lesson that has ever been presented to you (which means everything you have ever been through) will come back again, in some form, until you learn it. And the stakes each time will be higher. Whatever you learned will bear greater fruit. Whatever you’ve failed to learn will bear harsher consequences”- Marianne Williamson
Over the years I’ve committed to uncovering these patterns, learning the lessons and figuring out the ways we hold ourselves back in life. I’ve accomplished quite a bit, and helping others become more self aware to these limitations has become a strength of mine.
But then the sleeping giant showed his face.
For as long as I can remember I have been programmed to prepare for more. To believe that I was meant for more.
It served me well many times in life. Honestly, without it I’m not sure I would have gotten through the years of relentless adversity that tried to knock me down in life.
But then I got to a point where I realized it was limiting me in life. So I decided to dig deeper and figure out what was really going on...
What I discovered is life changing…
WHEN WILL MORE BE ENOUGH?
As I write this I am living out a life I always dreamt of.
For as long as I can remember I wished for a loving relationship with a man who would be an amazing father and true partner in life. I never really had any positive or involved male role models growing up, so I had to envision something I never knew, but believed to be true.
I saw us living a fairy tale kind of love story full of passion, support, and connection in an adorable town with a close community surrounded by nature and outdoor activities.
I wrote it all down in detail and would read it to myself morning and night for years.
Well, the mind truly is a magical thing because after years of manifesting, it all came to light.
Today I’m engaged to this amazing man I wished for, we live in that adorable town, we’re planning our dream wedding, and all we can think about is starting a family.
All of my dreams are coming true. I’m living the life I’ve always wanted!
You would think I would be on cloud nine, experiencing rainbows and butterflies kind of happy right?
Despite everything in my life being amazing, I wasn’t been able to fully embrace and enjoy it all.
I knew it didn’t make any sense, and I kept telling myself to just enjoy this time. But for some reason I was never really able to.
Initially I found myself starting petty arguments with my fiance about the wedding planning. Going to bed each night so mad at myself because I knew I was being ridiculous.
Then I found myself getting into a tizzy about work.
Putting all this pressure on myself to take things to the next level and expand my business as soon as possible.
Finally I realized something was off. That it was absolutely absurd how anxious I was making myself. I was causing chaos and completely robbing myself of all the love and happiness I always wanted.
And it wasn’t the first time.
FINDING THE PATTERNS
With this realization I dug even deeper, and sure enough I found that there were many times in my life when things were absolutely amazing... times when dreams were coming true… but I was still aching and searching for something more.
When I was in high school despite getting through some terrible teenage years and having an amazing group of friends it was the longing for a boyfriend.
When I was hired for my first job out of school, a dream job I was so excited about and excelled in… rather than enjoying it I remember thinking this is great, but I know I’m capable of more. I’ll really enjoy it and feel proud when I’m promoted to my managers role.
Then came the promotion to that role. This came alongside being in a great relationship, buying my first home on my own, attaining new levels of financial security, and reaching levels of life I dreamt of when I was young. All I ever wanted to do was become something more than the circumstances of my childhood. To make something of myself and feel proud of all I had accomplished. You would have thought putting yourself through college and attaining all that I had would’ve done it. That I would’ve been beside myself with happiness and pride.
This was about the time I found myself longing after more meaning and purpose in my life. This should have been some of the happiest years of my life, but looking back I remember feeling so stuck. Feeling so much pressure to do more. Sure I was so appreciative for everything in my life, but I was still “meant for more”. If I wasn’t feeling a sense of peace and fulfillment then that must’ve meant that there was still something more I was meant to strive for.
Fast forward to now as I’m planning the wedding to the man of my dreams, I’m feeling the pressure to do more for my business. I can’t help but feel that I’m not doing enough to make it a success.
See the pattern?
It’s an overarching theme of lack.
There are many more examples I could give you. Examples of really happy times in life that I couldn’t fully enjoy because of this constant pressure I put on myself to strive for something more.
Now before I continue, I do want to let it be known that I wholeheartedly believe there is something powerful in the belief that you are meant for more. This calls out to your inner greatness. It propels you forward. It’s what helped me get to where I am in my life and I wouldn’t trade that drive and all it’s brought into my life for a minute.
But like anything in life, moderation is key.
Excess can be a slippery downward slope. An empty hole of unfair expectation that robs you of fully enjoying the now.
SO WHERE DOES IT GO WRONG?
Why is it that you can’t fully enjoy life, all the happiness and success you have around you?
Why can’t you be at peace with where you are?
Truthfully there could be a couple of factors, but let’s stay on course with this one for now because if you are still reading, you are undoubtedly a fellow overcomer and I’m willing to bet this is a #1 limitation holding you back in life as well.
The flip side of believing that you are made for more, is that somewhere deep down you are struggling with the belief that you are enough.
When you continuously struggle with the belief that you are made for more, you never allow yourself to believe that you are enough.
At this point I want to pause and encourage a moment of reflection. If you are someone who has relentlessly been striving after more in life, this could be the start of a powerful paradigm shift in your life.
I know it was for me.
The realization that constantly holding yourself to the standard of more, could actually mean that you do not believe you are enough, is a mind blown type of realization.
Believing that you are enough is the foundational groundwork everything in your life will be built on.
If you never allow yourself to believe that you are enough, then you will never be able to fully enjoy this one very special and beautiful life you have.
You will never be able to give the very best of you which is ultimately what we’re all striving to be and do right?
So let’s pause for reflection. I’ll be back with more guidance on this in my next post but for now I want to encourage you to really reflect back on your life.
Activity: Your Call to Action...
Look back at all the times you know you should have been dancing above the clouds in happiness but for some reason you couldn’t fully embrace and enjoy all the good feelings.
Think about all the times you felt inner turmoil when deep down you knew you should have felt inner peace and true happiness.
I’m asking you to do this because you have lived your whole life according to the belief that you are made for more. And I have no doubt that you are! You are the person I so love working with because this feeling that you are meant for more undoubtedly means you have something special to offer the world. That you can make a great impact in the world.
But there is a difference between feeling that you are meant for more and feeling that you are enough.
In order to rise to your greatest self and make your greatest impact, you must start by believing that you, as you are, are enough.
You build your belief through evidence. And evidence comes from experience.
So let’s start this journey by first proving to yourself that you have in fact been limiting yourself.
Reflect back on times you have robbed yourself from fully experiencing all the good in life because you felt you were still meant for more. That you still needed to strive for more.
Let all the feeling that comes with this realization sink in. I highly recommend taking time to write it all down, the experiences and everything that comes up.
Writing unlocks the right side of the brain. We can be so analytical in life, sometimes unlocking that right side of creativity and intuition can bring about powerful revelations.
I’ll see you in the next post and we’ll take steps towards rewriting this belief system.